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He who makes a beast of himself

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Invader Zim Feb. 14th, 2006 @ 10:20 pm
GIR
Why would you draw that?
"I lost my foot. Wait, there it is!"




My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:


free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 94% on lucidity
Link: The Invader Zim Personality Test written by donquixotic on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

My Brithday........... I fuckin Hate it Jan. 3rd, 2006 @ 09:45 pm
Thanks for getting me drunk dad I really needed it. From trying to help jessy and failing and Josh treating me how ben did on my birthday. I cried my eyes out today.I felt so worthless and like i shouldnt be alive. Josh wanted nothing to do with me today. He even told me he forgot it was my birthday. He made me cry. I never want to have another birthday if the people I love I mean nothing to them. I know where i stand with josh, im just his little whore. Thanks man This birthday was fucking great.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed

Dec. 17th, 2005 @ 04:56 pm
Hey, I’m feeling tired
My time, is gone today
You flirt with suicide
Sometimes, that’s ok
Hear what others say
I’m here, standing hollow
Falling away from me
Falling away from me

Day, is here fading
That’s when, I would say
I flirt with suicide
Sometimes kill the pain
I can't always say
’it’s gonna be better tomorrow’
Falling away from me
Falling away from me

Beating me down
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground
Screaming some sound
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground

(falling away from me)
It’s spinning round and round
(falling away from me)
It’s lost and can’t be found
(falling away from me)
It’s spinning round and round
(falling away from me)
So down

Beating me down [ br]beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground
Screaming some sound
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground

Pressing me, they won’t go away
So I pray, go away

It’s falling away from me

Beating me down
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground
Screaming some sound
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground

Arggggg Dec. 4th, 2005 @ 11:40 am
It is another sunday. Which means having dinner with josh and everyone elce. For the past 3 days I have not felt like myself and all the things I enjoy hold to me no longer. Josh.....hmmm Josh. No I'am not going to say he is treating me badly and how horrible he is and that blah blah blah. I feel like I'am not there to him. I don't know how many day's I have been at his house and I feel like I shouldnt bother him. He says I can talk to him about anything and yet he makes me feel like I can't. Yeah I know everyone says, " Ohhhh amy your over reacting, stop being a bitch to josh." Well I'am Not being a bitch to him at all. I love josh more than anyone I have ever cared for. He is so special to me. I just wish he would show the same affection to me. I mean yes he show me affection, when I look upset or, I'am looking like I'am going to cry. He acts like I'am never there for him and it hurts me. I'am going to try something. Tonight at dinner. If He Doesnt say a word to me because ben and certa is there. I'am just going to leave. No I Dont have a problem with certa and I honestly dont care for ben at all. But I'am not going to be there if I'am not wanted there. So If Josh Ignores me compleatly. I'am Just going to leave.
Current Mood: ???????? Mixed emotions?????

Kindness Dec. 3rd, 2005 @ 10:08 pm
<td align="center">Kindness


Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

Perfect BF/GF Piechart - QuizGalaxy.com
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
Other entries
» I just somked with my mom :O
I have never done that befor and its so STRANGE!!!!!!!!
I have never done that with her and AHHHHHHHHHHH im still freaking out!!!!!!!


Oh PS HAPPY THANKS GIVING!!!!!!!!!!!
» (No Subject)
Well what to say. Nothings really been going on. Ive been hanging out with Josh lately. He kind of makes me angry sometimes. Its nothing that bad, it just everytime I want him to come over he's always like ummm i dont know, no I dont want to. What gets me is my mom is always like, why does he not want to come over? Does he need a ride? I'll pick him up if he needs to. I'll make him dinner and I'll do what you guys want. Josh still say no. It makes me so angry for some reason. Well other than that. Its snowing!!!!!
Ahh its cold as hell lol. Well I'am going to try to get ahold of some one so we can hangout and do some stuff. Well thats about all i really have to say
» Brighter side
Iam am at saras right now hanging out with allen josh and andy. Watching them play with playdoh. This weekend was great. My mom let me go to the downdrift show which was great. I went there with josh allen jenny shelah and jessy.. After the show I stayed the night with josh. Saturday Went to saras and painted some sun catchers with haylee. She made me a pretty green purse and called me jessy alnight while she called jessy amy. After we left at 10:30 I stayed the night with shelah. She gave me sleep stuff and I was out. That was the best I have slept in a long time. Shelah woke up at 10 and I woke up at 10:40. we ate some food, went over to joshes, Picked up allen, and came over to saras again. So this is where my entry stops :)
» No Longer A Daughter, No One At All
I finally have my hands on a computer, ours is fixed thanks to ben, but our monitor doesnt work. So here we go.The last month or so things have been going to hell. Ever since I saw the Rocky Horror Picture show with Josh Allen and everyone elce things have been horrible. Jason was (and probably still) talking shit about me. Calling me a liar when I stoped him from twisting my words around to Jessy. It didnt really stop him because when I left he STILL kept talkin shit. He was blaming shit on me when I had nothing to do with the situation (jessy being mad at him was my fault is what he was saying that time). I tried to talk to him and what I got in reaturn was, "I dont do talks". I felt like I was a fucking doormat.(Sorry jessy I know this hurts you to hear this but not all of this can be blamed on his condition, he can stop buying things he doesnt need so he can get his meds). I didnt say anything because jessy said no he's in a good mood I'll talk to him. No she did'nt he was allowed to walk over me and that crushes me. I did nothing to him and he got away with being a dick to me. Kenny has been having family problems and all he wants to do is tell everyone about it so people feel sorry for him. I'am trying to help him but he dosent want my help. To make this all worse my mom doesnt treat me like I am her child anymore and that is what makes me feel like no one cares if Iam here or not. I'am no longer her daughter but just the maid who lives in the house who instead of pay get's to live with her. I hear my bother tell me when I get home that his girlfriend gets treated better than I.Tommy is treated better than I.Sad isnt it ?She calls me a liar because jason talked to her and said a bunch of shit I dont even know about. I have been feeling like Iam being walked all over by almost everyone and when I try to say how Iam feeling people turn a deaf ear, or I am being crazy as my boyfriend likes to say. Josh Mcgauley, he has made me feel like Iam not his girlfriend but someone who is there to do him a favor. I come over and we don't talk like we use to. No more walks to the park, no more going out, no more talking to me at all pretty much. When I go to see him he just sleeps and I have to act pissed off just to get his attenchion. EX. This morning I walked up to josh to give him a hug to see how he was doing. He just walked away from me and talked to his friends. Iam no long important to him at all, Iam just another person in the crowd. So Josh makes me feel like iam not his girlfriend just some one to do him favors and is I said this to him im just being CRAZY as he puts it, Jason makes me feel like a doormatt with no feelings, and he still looks me in the eye knowing he talked shit behind my back, and my Lovely mother makes me feel like the fucking house maid.Iam pretty sure that People are going to be pissed off at me for saying how I really feel but I dont care, This is how I have been feeling so dont be mad at me. 3 people are the reason I feel this way so there it is. Its better than me crying because no one wants to listen to me.
» (No Subject)
Friday was homecoming game. I had to march in some uncomfortable clothes for a while. Then I changed into this really beautiful dress for the dance. Well after that josh jessy and I went back to the game to wait for the dance to start. We found andy ashley jenny and scott there and hung out with them for a short while. Jessy and jenny ran off to watch the rest of the game so the rest of us went for a short "drive". When we came back the game was over and we won. Yay for center. After a long and boring dance Josh Jessy Jenny Scott and I went to take josh home and then out to the rocky horror picture show. I was So tired I fell asleep for 15 min of the movie it was horrible. Jessy stayed the night at my house because I didnt want her to get in trouble for getting home so late. Saturday was sweetest day and Josh spoiled me. I said," Dont get me anything ok" he didnt listen, he got me a card, a rockin Pink Floyd shirt, Some lovley perfume, and some crazy candy. Then later that night the lovely Shelah picked us up and took us over to saras. I had a awsome time over there. I made a bracelet for Josh and Haylee. Almost died from a Huge green glass bowl. It was fun. Saw the Rocky Horror Picture show again that night and I did'nt even fall asleep. Sunday I had dinner with Josh Jessy Shelah Allen Jason and Ben. It was a great dinner. Shelah and I tried to steal some pumpkins but it didnt work sadly. She is still feeling all sick. We picked up Jessy's friend Jordan cole ,then we took a drive out to a cemetary and walked around. Jordan was excited to know that Josh and I are horn players and he wants us to go over to his house Soon and play some songs. I though Jordan was a bit crazy at first but he doesnt seem that bad. Well Iam off to do laundry and many other things of that sort. I send you all my love :)
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